Another Chilling Reminder

While not necessarily a topic that comes up in Family Court all that often, it is one that concerns parents all over the world.  It is, in essence, every parent's worse nightmare: a child abduction that leads to a child's death. 

NBC News reported here that a 10 year old girl, Hailey Owens, was found dead in the home of the suspected killer, Craig Wood, a forty five year old man who was also an "athletic coach" at a school in which he was also employed as a paraprofessional, someone who works specifically with children with severe special needs. 

As someone who has served as a coach for my own children's sports teams, this is even more jarring incident.  But in every tragedy all we can hope for is to try to learn what we can so that we might bring at least some meaning to an otherwise senseless act.  In that sense, we can learn that we can scarcely be too careful with our most important treasures and that it is always best to err on the side of caution rather than have to spend a lifetime confronting the overwhelming guilt that comes from repeatedly asking. . ."What if. . .?"  Of course, we want to grant our children some independence as Hailey's parents did by letting her walk to a friend's home by herself.  But stories such as these make us second guess those decisions and make us reluctant to grant that independence.  In the process, we try to hold on, and control, and supervise our children later and later in their lives.  As a result, we risk raising sheltered, frightful children who are hesitant to act for themselves. 

Surely, there is a middle ground, but this case imposes a tremendous burden upon all of society because it makes us question not only when we should grant that independence, but perhaps even worse, makes us question our collective decision as parents to trust even those we supposedly and are socially programmed to trust, teachers, religious leaders, coaches, club leaders, and, ultimately, family members. 

I have and will continue to try to find the right balance between granting independence and making sure my children are safe.  All we can do, is hope the lessons we try to teach our children will be enough to save them.