The Risk of Parental Alienation

As discussed in prior posts, parental alienation is an insidious tactic used by one parent against another to attempt to turn children against another parent.  Custodial parents who do this should be aware of the enormous psychological and emotion trauma they inflict on their children.  But aside from that, the Second Department has recently re-affirmed its fealty to the idea that a custodial parent who goes to such efforts to alienate a child from another parent runs the further risk of losing his or her right to child support.  The full decision can be seen here. 

In making this decision, the non-custodial parent who finds themselves alienated from the child now has a powerful weapon in their arsenal.  They should not hesitate to use it. 

Parental Alienation - A Mental Disorder?

I recently came across an interesting article on NPR's website regarding whether or not Parental Alienation should be classified as a mental health disorder.  The article can be seen in its entirety here.  The debate is taking place at the American Psychiatry Association.  On the one side are advocates of domestic violence victims (mostly women) who believe the entire notion of parental alienation is a fabricated pseudo-science created by abusive partners (mostly men) who are trying to deflect attention away from their own behavior which, ostensibly, is the more likely cause of the estrangement between the child and father.  On the other side of the debate are numerous mental health professionals who hope to see parental alientation classified as a verifiable diagnosis so that the issue can be dealt with more forthrightly in Family Court.

As stated in a previous post, it is my firm belief that parental alienation is not only real, but devastating to families.  I have seen firsthand the traumatic effect that this insidious problem inflicts on children.  Specifically, I have seen children reject any and all benevolent advances by the estranged parent for reasons that border on the ludicrous.  It is not necessary to revisit the issue here other than to say that there are forceful and persuasive forces on both sides of this debate.  However, I think most would agree that any attempt at undermining the bond between a child and parent should not be tolerated.  Whether or not we classify parental alienation as a specific disorder has obvious implications to the Family Court, but is ultimately secondary to the emotional damage caused to families by parents who engage in perpetual battles with one another.

Parental Alienation - A Thorny Judical Thicket

One of the most vexing problems facing the Family Court and the practitioners who work there is the claim of parental alienation.  A thorough, though not exhaustive, treatment of its legal history is set forth in a recent edition of New York Children's Lawyer (formerly called the Law Guardian Reporter).  The article can be seen in its entirety here.  A detailed explanation as to what parental alienation is can be seen here.  Indeed, the problem is so prevalent that entire websites have been created to discuss its myriad implications.  One example can be seen here.

In short, parental alienation manifests itself when a child, without proper cause (such as long term abuse or neglect) arbitrarily decides to cut off his or her relationshiip with a parent.  As one would expect, the child's decision is usually anything but arbitrary, but the byproduct of a course of conduct by another parent who is actively trying to undermine the relationship between the child and the other parent.  The motives for this destructive conduct vary but the results often do not. 

I have interviewed hundreds of children over the years who have been victimized in varying degrees by this insidious affliction.  Their lives and emotional well being have been utterly traumatized and yet, in many cases, they feel paralyzed.  The have been so completely conditioned to reject one parent that they are literally afraid (in some cases terrified) to even engage the alienated parent.  The alienated parent, of course, is understandibly frustrated, depressed and angry.

To be sure, these families are in a state of acute crisis.  And from what I have seen in the past 15 years, the Family Court is ill-prepared to deal with this issue.  Some judges openly reject the whole idea of parental alienation.  Others throw up their hands and wonder aloud what they can do when a child refuses to visit with another parent for no apparent reason.  Indeed, even the psychologists and other mental health professionals charged with evaluating the families (and, ostensibly, crafting viable lifestyle plans for them) often do not offer anything beyond the bland recommendation of family therapy.  However, these family therapy sessions often offer little beyond perfunctory, short -lived and ultimately ineffective assistance. 

The crux of the problem from the Family Court's perspective is how to deal with a child who will not comply with a court order regarding visitation.  We cannot arrest children who are technically in violation of a court order any more than it makes sense to attempt to drag a child, kicking and screaming, to a visit with a parent.  And so, faced with this this conundrum, Family Court judges will often shrug their shoulders and move on to the next case, thereby awarding the offending parent, and, more importantly, ignoring their commitment to protect the best interests of the child.

In the New York Children's Report cited above, some interesting proposals from various sources are being discussed and worthy of mention.  The first is to have a judge specifically assigned to these types of cases.  This would be of invaluable assistance since the patterns of behavior in these cases are so similar and the ability to identify them and snuff them out as early as possible is the key to maintaining the integrity of the parent-child relationship.  A second proposal, involving situations where the parental alienation is already quite acute, involves sending the parent and child to intensive "camps" where mental health professionals with experience dealing with these issues can address the problem in a more thoughtful, creative and effective fashion.

Clearly, it is time to move beyond the existing parameters of the Family Court if we, as a society, are to take seriously the overwhelming and tragic impact that parental alienation has on families.  The proposals discussed above are a good start and I'm sure to revisit this issue in the future as more innovative solutions are conceived.