What To Do When Your Child Is Removed From Your Care

There are few events in your life as frightening and traumatic as having your child removed from your home. During these moments we are confronted with a wide array of emotions, none of them good. There is guilt, fear, anger, frustration, profound saddness, concern and anxiety to name just a few. And while this this an event that will forever change your life, as well as your child's, the change need not all be bad. The thing to remember is that this is emphatically not the time to fly into a rage, act desperate or surrender to depression. To be sure, it is a time for reflection, but from a legal standpoint, it is a time to get organized and prepared. The time for half measures is long since past.

Believe it or not, most state agencies are inclined to return children to their parents sooner rather than later. However, if any, and I mean any, lingering doubts remain about your ability to care for your child, the state agency will always err on the side of caution and oppose any return of the child. That is not to suggest that their refusal to return your child is the end of the argument, but if you are going to challenge their determination in court, you had best be prepared.

The first step any parent should take when facing the removal of their child (or any abuse neglect proceeding even when the child has not been removed) is to start and meticulously maintain a diary. This diary needs to contain an accurate log (dates, times, places) of every event involving your child. These events include, but are not necessarily limited to, visits, compliance with court mandated services, drug tests, interactions with case workers, etc. The list is different for every case and too long to list in its entirety for purposes of this entry.

Suffice to say, you need to be prepared to prove you have done everything that has been asked of you to make your home and/or yourself safe for the children to return home.

In order to do that you need to know, immediately, what services, if any the agency is asking you to complete. Agencies can be particularly slow in offering this information (called "referrals") and so it is up to you and your attorney to be diligent in getting that information (in writing whenever possible) so that there is not a significant delay in the time you are charged with abuse or neglect and the time you begin addressing the issues that led to your child's removal. Many of the programs/services that you will be asked to engage in take weeks or months to complete. Unfortunately, this is often time your child will spend in foster care so it is imperative that you engage in those services as soon as it becomes possible to do so.

Having your child removed is devastating. Getting your child back, requires determination, discipline, preparation and consistency, all of which you and your attorney can and should provide.